The Unofficial Guide to Hilarious Work Terms You Need to Know

Let’s dive into the twisted world of work lingo where ‘Lazy Girl Jobs’ aren’t a myth, and ‘Bare Minimum Mondays’ are not just a mood but a lifestyle choice. Brace yourselves as I unravel these fresh, oh-so-relatable work terms you never knew you needed:

  1. The Lazy Girl Job: Picture this: decent pay, minimal work, and pajamas all day? Sounds like a dream, right? That’s the Lazy Girl Job – where productivity meets comfort. It’s like being a content creator but without the fancy title.
  2. Bare Minimum Mondays: Why aim for the stars when you can aim for your coffee cup? Embrace the magic of doing zilch on a Monday and watch how it changes your entire week. Pro tip: Ask your colleagues; they’ve probably mastered this art too!
  3. Voluntelling: Ah, the art of being “volunteered” for something you never signed up for. You think it’s new? Please, this has been happening since the invention of meetings. You’ve officially been voluntold, darling.
  4. ‘Hey’ Hanging: Quick greetings turning into a wild goose chase for hidden meanings? Welcome to the land of instant messaging, where a simple “Hey” can spark a whole Sherlock Holmes investigation about your colleague’s mood.
  5. Quiet Cutting: Remember when you had a title? Well, say goodbye to that! Quiet Cutting is when you’re given a “reassignment of duties” and end up doing everything but what you were actually hired for. Job title? What’s that?
  6. Body Doubling: Here’s a trick to stay focused: have someone else do a task with you. It’s like having a work buddy, especially for all the ADHD rockstars out there. Zoom in, focus on the task, and conquer!
  7. Post-Work Restraint Collapse: Therapists are calling it the aftermath of draining workdays. It’s that moment you collapse into a puddle of emotions after holding it together all day. Just be thankful your partner isn’t suffering from this – phew, dodged a bullet there!

So, there you have it, the ABCs of the workplace’s secret language. Next time you’re on a ‘Bare Minimum Monday,’ voluntold for a project, or experiencing a ‘Hey’ hanging, remember, you’re not alone in this whirlwind of office shenanigans!

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