Red Deer City Council has officially declared e-scooters a permanent fixture in our humble city, much to the delight of thrill-seekers and sidewalk commuters alike. After a wild three-season pilot program, where e-scooters roamed the streets like rebellious teenagers at a mall, the Council decided to make the relationship official.

Some skeptics voiced concerns about safety, fearing Red Deer would turn into a real-life version of Mario Kart. But fear not, citizens! The Council promises to enforce safety measures more strictly than a kindergarten teacher during arts and crafts.

And let’s not forget the infamous “scooter swarm” that descended upon Red Deer during the pilot program. It was like a flash mob of electric-powered chaos, complete with beeping horns and windblown hairdos.

But amidst the chaos, there were true winners: the pigeons of Red Deer. Finally, they can reclaim their sidewalks from the tyranny of pedestrian traffic and strut about with the confidence of runway models.

So, as we embrace this new era of electric-powered freedom, let’s raise our helmets high and toast to the future of transportation in Red Deer. Whether you’re a seasoned scooter enthusiast or a curious first-timer, there’s never been a better time to hop aboard and join the ride. After all, life is short, but the thrill of zipping around town on two wheels? That’s electric.