What Urban Dictionary Has Taught Me.

  • First off, being “awake” and being “woke” are apparently two different things. Who knew?
  • “Bae” doesn’t mean “bacon and eggs.” Yeah, that one stung a bit. Breakfast will never be the same again.
  • My eyebrows? They’re never gonna be “on fleek.” But hey, they’ve been sitting on my face just fine for years.
  • It’s also the only way I can keep up with conversations with my kid. Apparently, I need subtitles just to understand my own family now.
  • Can we please bring back words like “tubular,” “rad,” and “gnarly”? Those were the glory days, folks—none of this “lit, Sus, Rizz” nonsense.
  • I’ve learned that so many “nice” words now have totally different meanings. And some of them would even make Dr. Ruth clutch her pearls.
  • The Rural Dictionary? Yeah, not quite as spicy… unless you’re really into tractor specs.
  • Turns out Urban Dictionary doesn’t have anything to do with Keith Urban. That was a disappointment.
  • And now I can confidently say, “It’s lit up in here, YOLO, yeet yeet, kiki do you love me?”
  • And finally, I’ve come to accept that I’m officially old AF… but at least I’m learning to speak teenager. Sort of.

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